How to Fully Enjoy Being a Stay at Home Mom

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Enjoy Being stay at home mom

When I found out I was pregs, I was 100% gung-ho for being a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I didn’t make a ton of money (still don’t), we didn’t have our lives entirely established yet (still don’t lol), but we were determined.

Here in California it costs over $1.2K/month to have a nanny care for a newborn full-time. There was just no way we were going to spend that much of the little income we made to have someone else enjoy all the firsts and milestones with our baby. So, we moved things around, I found a part-time work-from-home position, and so my stay at home mom journey began.

Fast-forward to when our son was like… 5 months old? I was straight struggling.

What I thought was going to be the “dream life,” started to feel more like “no life.” Feelings of “I’m not doing anything with my life” and “I do nothing all day – a.k.a. I feel so unproductive” started to creep in and make it difficult to enjoy motherhood as a stay at home mom. It wasn’t because my son wasn’t enough, or that I didn’t enjoy spending time with him (though postpartum took a huge hit on me), but I felt like I was being unproductive with my life. Yeah, I was working part-time from home, helping with finances and getting to be present for all my son’s precious moments, but I felt… unhappy with where my life was on a personal level.



Little did I know then that a whole lot of stay at home moms feel that same way. Discontent, conflicted and unhappy due to feeling unproductive in life. I felt this way for nearly two years (yikes!). But then God shifted my eyes and taught me a little (or ginormous) lesson. He pulled my eyes open and said, “Girl, just look” and I finally gave in and said, “Oh alright, God.

I want to share what He taught me with you today, to encourage you in your journey, and to help you find exceeding joy in the call on your life as a stay at home mama. I want to assure you – there’s so much joy to be had – won’t you find it with me?

 

stay at home mom

A Change in Perspective

I know for me, because I work from home and I’m a stay at home mom I got to see the contrast of how my mind and heart perceived the two. Often, I found myself making little quality time for my son because if I’m honest, I prioritized work first – working gave me a sense of purpose and made me feel like I was doing something with my life. Whereas, getting down on the floor with my son to watch him squirm for tummy time or just playing with him didn’t feel all too purposeful or productive.

For me, working was what made me feel productive and like I was going somewhere with my life, but what is it for you?

Is it cleaning around the house? Creating the bomb-est baked treats and dinner meals? Is it crafting and creating something you love? Or is it running errands and spending time with friends? What is it for you? What gives you a sense of purpose and meaning in your day-to-day? Do you find yourself prioritizing those things more often than getting intentional time in with your kids? On days where you just spend time feeding and watching them, do you feel like you did “nothing” all day?

These are all signs that you’re stuck in the same rut that I and so many mamas find ourselves in. I think the reason so many stay at home moms struggle with feelings of meaninglessness is because we view daily motherhood as mundane and we’ve categorized day-to-day parenting as “unproductive.”

Is Parenting Really Unproductive?

But what exactly is unproductive about parenting? Really think about that.

When I thought long and hard about it, I honestly couldn’t find one thing about parenting that’s unproductive. Sure, you have to repeat yourself a lot, your irritation button might get pressed a lot and your insecurities about being a good enough mom probably creep up on you on the daily. But despite those things (lol), literally everything you do as a parent is full of purpose.

Just imagine what would happen if you just dove head first into whatever it is you’ve allowed yourself to believe is more productive than being a parent and you just neglected your children altogether. Imagine if every parent in the world right now just did that. Can you even begin to fathom how ridiculous and chaotic this world would be in about 2 minutes time? Yeah. YOUR CALLING AS A MAMA MATTERS SO SO MUCH!

I think we have a hard time seeing the value in what we do on the daily because we often don’t see the fruits of our labor right away. It might take until they’re teenagers or full-blown adults. And because we don’t see the product of our labor we begin to feel as if what we do in motherhood is meaningless (I guess we can thank the “microwave generation” we live in for that).

But let me tell you, the job of raising up a child in every moment of every day has so much more value than all the money we could ever bring in. This isn’t to belittle what our husbands do by working for our families, but at the end of the day when we die and leave this place, all that money will mean nothing. Though we need dollars to survive in this world, it’s simply a necessary evil – raising up our children? Now that has eternal value.

So, I want to encourage you today, sister – find joy in motherhood by simply changing your perspective.

stay at home mom quotes

 

Being a Stay at Home Mom is Productive

You are raising tiny humans that will one day be big humans. Day-in and day-out we have the responsibility to care for, guide and discipline our children. The goal is to help them become humans who shine the light of Jesus and bring goodness to this world – not end up as jail mate #25602. Every day, in all we do, we’re instilling values, characteristics, temperaments, perceptions, boundaries, manners, social skills and so much more into our children. That’s a serious dose of purpose right there!

So, whether you’re just chilling on your unvacuumed carpet with your bub just fiddling with Legos, puree-ing up some fancy baby food or you’re having a full-fledged conversation with them about dating – it all has meaning and it all matters.

And the beauty is, you can continue to do the things that give you a sense of purpose and joy, too. It isn’t parenting or crafts, or parenting or work – you can have both. It’s about keeping your heart and your mind in check, recognizing when you’re downplaying your role as a stay at home mom, prioritizing your children above those things and getting back in-line with the truth.




In the end…

Next time you’re feeling like your stay at home mom life lacks productivity or that you’re not going anywhere in life, remember this. Every moment with your child is a sown seed – a seed that will one day sprout and take fruit. Everything you do in motherhood is a form of productivity because it’s working toward a long-term goal. The time you invest, the love you give and the heart you show will change their lives for better or for worse. We have a tall task, but boy is it necessary. The way you talk, the way you respond, the way you love, the way you forgive. How you serve, the way you appreciate, the way you listen, the way you spend time. The way you, the way you, the way you – the list could just go on. All of it matters to the heart of your children and it’s molding them into the people they’re becoming. Don’t lose heart in that good work sister – you’re so so needed.

I’m confident that you can enjoy being a stay at home mom, and you will, if you just shift your eyes and heart to the truth of your calling.

Wishing you joy in your motherhood today. May God be glorified in you <3

In All Honesty,

 

 

 

 

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28 thoughts on “How to Fully Enjoy Being a Stay at Home Mom”

  • I wish I can be a SAHM, but we can’t afford that right now. I was just talking to my coworker regarding productive citizens, I mentioned to her that raising a good person/people is one of the best way.

  • Hello Vanessa! Thank you for your precious article – I shared actually all the feelings you described 🙂

    During the first year of my motherhood I felt like I don’t do enough – although I didn’t have time for anything 😉 With her growing up I could manage my time better and I found motherhood more enjoyable with the direct contact and understanding each other. I just couldn’t leave her and come back to job. It’s not only going on cost of nanny or kindergarten. It was going on feelings. Every day with her smiles and skills she reminds me how important thing I do. <3

    This article should be sent especially to some men. When I talked with other mommys, many of them are definitely unappreciated by their husbands. They think, they just stay at home and do nothing using also the tiredness from job as an excuse for not helping them at all.

    • Same for me, it was once I was able to communicate with my son that I started feeling a little better about being a mom – infancy is hard for so many moms!

      Yes! It’s so sad how some husbands don’t see SAHM life as productive – more just like the wife is at home having fun all day when that’s sometimes so far from the truth. SAHM life is hard work, and man does the day just fly by and sometimes with little to no time to ourselves or for ourselves. I really pray that those husbands have the opportunity to get a little taste of reality. Cause SAHM life is so far from “doing nothing all day” soooo far from it! Sigh!

  • Thank you so much for the reminder that being a SAHM is worth something. I always feel like I need to be doing something else (blogging for instance) because just being a SAHM isn’t enough. But it is enough. Anything else is just extra icing on the cake😊

    • Exactly! Our role as SAHMs is so darn important, and like you said – it is enough! It’s probably thee most important “job” in the world. Afterall we’re raising people here. Thank you for your feedback, sis! So sweet to hear from you!

    • Right? It can be so hard, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We just have to remember that in our moments of negativity – it’s all worth it in the end <3

  • You go girl! It’s rewarding being home with our babies.

    I loved being a stay at home mom. I enjoyed every moment of it and do miss it. We even homeschooled until junior high and high school year’s. Now my babies are going to be 22 and 20 soon. It makes my heart happy hearing of other moms being a stay at home moms. It’s so rewarding pouring our lives into our children, cultivating them to be who God called them to be.

    • Yes! I feel so blessed to have the ability to be at home with my son. It can be hard, but I would never trade it for the world. And that’s so great! My hope is to homeschool my kids through junior high, and give them the option to go to public school or continue home schooling when high school comes around (ah! I can’t even imagine him that old *ugly cry*). But I am encouraged by you sister! Thank you so much for commenting, connecting and reading. It means so very much to me! <3

  • There was a time where I felt I was wasting my degree by being home and I’ve even had other people tell me that they felt like I was wasting my degree but I have come to realize that the greatest gift I can give to my kids is being here with them. And who better to use all my expertise on then my own children.

    • Right?! I got a degree in psychology (and I didn’t even use it in any of my jobs pre-baby 🤦🏽‍♀️ Lol), so what a great tool our education can be in our homes. It’s totally not wasted and who knows, when they’re grown and out of the house, we may very well get to use what we’ve learned outside the home. But for now, there’s definitely no better place to utilize those nuggets of knowledge 😋☺️❤️

    • Yes! Motherhood is so drenched in purpose. Sometimes we lose sight of just how important our role really is. And what a good goal to have. I’m sure you’ll get there! Stay at home mama here you come! 😋❤️

    • That’s so awesome, Monica! It’s so good when we find those things that make us tick and give us the much needed mind rest from motherhood, but it’s even better when we learn the tricky balance of being present with our kids, prioritizing them above those things and getting that time in for ourselves, too. Yay for you! I know I’ve got my things and praise the Lord cause I’d probably have a screw loose without em 🤣😛

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